Just found im pregnant but ive had a terrible year,i have borderline personality disorder and depression?

i have bpd and i aborted a child yes i hate myself,but my partner didnt feel i was well enough and due to being ually abused till i was 18 im 23 now he felt that i need time to heal.i hate my byfriend for making me do it as i dont believe in abortion.it is the hardest desion of your life you will make and remember when people like us are so poorly we end up in hospital who will look after the child and arent there enough children in this world confussed and messed up due to ill parents i know i am cus of my past.whatever u do dont blame yourself you do things out of love for the unborn child.email me if you want to